Sound. It is all around us. But at different volumes. I have a particular obsession when it comes to volume.
On the TV and when listening to music, the volume must be at an even number otherwise it feels wrong.
It feels both too loud and too quiet at the same time. I feel physically disconcerted, my ears hurt and my mind keeps shouting that it is wrong. If I have not consciously seen the volume it doesn’t really affect me,
but sometimes I can tell and it irritates me.
In everyday life I cannot change the volume of everything, but if I am aware that the volume is on an odd number I will ask someone to turn it up or down by one. I have missed videos in lectures, programmes on TV and countless songs on the radio, all because of one number difference.
Another even number obsession I have is that I can only sleep if the last time I saw ended in an even
number. My favourite number – rather strangely – is three, so this occurs frequently in my obsessions.
For example, when I close a door I tap it three times to check it is shut, I always use three question marks and exclamation marks when typing, and I put groups of three letters when exaggerating words in text.
Compulsively following patterns and rituals, thinking numbers are
(un)lucky and avoiding certain numbers are all classic examples of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
People who suffer with OCD will often do such things believing it will help them in some way,
or avoid doing things based on beliefs that have no proof or facts that it is true.
There are many number- related obsessions, mostly superstitious.
A common example is unlucky 13.
People will avoid the 13th floor or Friday 13th purely because they believe it is unlucky.
However, OCD superstition is when the belief consumes your mind,
and you wholeheartedly beieve that it will affect your life.
Other people fear specific numbers, attach rituals to certain numbers or feel they must do things in groups of five or any special number for fear that something bad will happen to them.
Whilst researching this article I discovered many people I knew had similar obsessions with numbers,
such as turning around a certain number of times or only going out of the house on the hour.
I spoke to my tutor, Adam Guy: “I am obsessed with everything.
Everything in my world has to be how I want it or I get upset.”
Rather than keeping the volume at a specific level,
he told me that the volume has to be “just above the acceptable level.
If someone says it is okay I will go one above it.” But how why does he do this?
“It is to make me feel comfortable. Since being a child I’ve realised that I have to control things
around me to make me feel happy.”
This sort of behaviour has had a big impact on Adam’s life as he says it can be “sheer misery at times.
Unadulterated misery and unhappiness.”
He has tried medication and counseling for his obsessions but he has now learnt to live with them.
This just shows the power of the human mind and our ability to allow simple
insignificant things to consume our lives.
